


Ready To Run

by alex4968



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (Not Harry or Louis), Embarassed Louis causes a lot of the problems in this fic rip, Honeymoon, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 22:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12640281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex4968/pseuds/alex4968
Summary: After being left at the alter by his boyfriend of five years, Louis goes on a vacation to try and clear his head and fill the empty spaces in his heart. On the way, he meets a new group of life-long friends, and maybe a little more than that.





	Ready To Run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosegoldhl (Rosegoldhl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosegoldhl/gifts).



> Wow! What a ride this was. I hope you all enjoy!! Title from One Direction.

****

**+LOUIS**

The first thing Louis notices when he wakes to the sound of his door opening is that his mouth tastes disgusting.

He’s almost certain that he’d finished an entire bottle of vodka to himself the night previous, but his head doesn’t hurt and his body doesn’t ache, so that sounds less possible as he becomes more awake. Drinking alone had once been a low Louis never thought he would reach, but with each passing day, it becomes more of something he almost wants to do.

He’s normally not like this. He’s been telling himself for the past week that this is acceptable behavior for someone who’s just had their heart broken – that he’s allowed to mope and be sad for a while before he’s forced to get back up on his feet and become a part of society all over again. The excuses are slowly starting to wear thin both to himself and the people around him as the days pass and he knows that, but each time he gets out of bed, his body aches just as bad as his heart.

It’s discouraging to try and better himself all over again only to be reminded of how terribly everything hurts every time he does anything.

The door clicks closed, reminding him that the sound of it opening had been what woke him, and he sighs. Zayn walks into the room and pulls the curtains back, letting a bright stream of light come into the room, so he pulls the comforter tighter around his body and places a pillow over his face with a loud groan. It’s all a little dramatic – almost like something his teenage sister would be doing – he knows. But dramatic has always been his strong suit and this is no different.

“Mate, I’m sorry if this sounds a bit insensitive, but you really should like… get up. Maybe take a shower. Or maybe clean your teeth.” Zayn says, his voice gentle, and moves the pillow from off of Louis’ face, making him groan once again and sling an arm over his face to block out the light. His friend doesn’t deserve this treatment – not really – but Louis just hasn’t entirely committed to getting himself up just yet. It feels a little too soon for him.

Getting up reminds him that the world went on when he felt like everything needed to stop. Getting up reminds him that this was meant to be the happiest time of his life, but instead it’s all been shattered and torn to pieces all in front of his eyes.

His make-shift room that he’s taken over in Zayn’s house is littered with pizza boxes, Chinese takeout containers, and various drinks all spread out in the area that Zayn and Perrie had taken to calling his ‘mope nest’. He can imagine that to someone who hasn’t been living in it for the last week, it probably looks quite bad. But even just the thought of getting up makes his body physically ache and being awake just makes him think about how everything in his life has changed in such a short amount of time. He wants nothing more than to be laying in his own, big, soft bed in his own central London flat, but the first time he tried to return there, all he found were boxes on the doorstep and a changed lock.

Everything had been good – perfect even – and then it all came crashing down around him before he even had time to process it.

“I will. Eventually.” He says, not bothering to look at his friend just yet. He needs time. That’s all he needs. Time’s meant to heal all wounds – or some bullshit like that. He hopes that a few more days of laying in his own filth will make him feel better, and it likely would if Zayn and Perrie would stop acting like his mums and checking on him every half hour.

“Louis, I can’t stand seeing you like this any longer. Get up.” Zayn grabs his arm with a gentle force and tugs him up into a sitting up position, tosses the duvet off of his body, and opens the window for fresh air all too fast for his brain to be able to process. He wants to go back to sleep and ignore his misery for just a little while longer, but obviously he can’t if Zayn is so determined to get him up.

“Shit, man, it smells like something’s died in there. Get up. All the way.”

“Yeah, only my dignity. No worries.” Louis says with a groan, smacking his head against the wood of the headboard behind him in his typical over-dramatic fashion. He doesn’t think it’s dramatic, though. He’s acting entirely sensibly. Any adult in his situation would be doing the same thing. Of course. No one would be able to just move on after a week – after such a devastating loss. It wouldn’t feel right to heal from a wasted five years of his life in just a week.

Zayn sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. The silence in the room only seems to grow thicker as he can nearly see the cogs in his friend’s head turning. He’s absolutely not in the mood for a lecture, but he knows that Zayn is only doing what he thinks is best for him. It might actually _be_ best for him, but he’s not interested.

“Listen. Do you remember the lads holiday we had after we graduated A-Levels? How much fun we all had and how nothing else in the entire world really seemed to matter while we were all out having the best time of our lives?”

“Yeah, that was fun. But what’s that got to do with me broken heart, Zed?” He says, possibly a bit too snippy for how positive his friend is attempting to be. He can remember that holiday perfectly, though. Him, Zayn, and Ed had gone to France with money they’d saved up from odd jobs throughout the years and had a blast. Drinking, sightseeing, and doing everything that they’d wanted to do as adults for the first time in their lives. He remembers how free he’d felt for the first time during that holiday, how it had felt like absolutely nothing else in the entire world mattered except for how much fun they’d been having those four days.

“You and I are going to Jamaica and we’re going to have a wonderful time and you’re going to feel better.” He thinks that the look on his face says enough when his friend holds out a finger to silence him. “I don’t want to hear any objections. Get in the shower. Brush your teeth. Change your clothes. Our flight leaves at nine in the morning on Thursday.”

“That’s in less than three –“

“Yes that’s three days from now. Pack your suitcase.” He flops back down on the bed as soon as Zayn leaves the room, groaning once again and he stares at the roof. His body is still physically achy with the sadness that’s buried itself deep in his chest, but he knows he has to move on eventually. He has to be able to deal with it in one way or another. Perhaps going on what was meant to be his honeymoon with his best mate might not be the best way to deal with it, but it’s better than lying in bed for the rest of his life.

Besides, he doesn’t even have to pack. All of his things are already thrown in suitcases from when he’d fled his once-shared house the week previous. Zayn must have been planning this all along, knowing that there wasn’t much of an option for Louis to say no. They had the tickets and using them was probably better than wasting the 1,200 pounds he’d spent on them anyway.

So he gets up and forces himself to shower and clean his teeth. Admitting that he feels so much better when he emerges from his mope nest would feel a little too much like defeat, so he doesn’t mention it. He pretends that it doesn’t hurt when he sees Zayn and Perrie’s surprised looks when he actually comes down and helps do the cooking for supper that night.

 

 

**  
**

The plane is stuffy.

Something about planes has always managed to leave him with a feeling of unsettledness – and now, with his emotions running rampant and a broken heart, it’s no better. The air feels too sterile and his personal space feels invaded and he doesn’t want to be anywhere except in bed. But he’s here, despite all of his protests.

The sky outside of the plane is pitch dark and he can hear the whir of the engines roaring when all he wants to do is sleep. People are packed on much too tight and everything feels too small for Louis to be able to handle without a cup of coffee. It’s a red eye flight – the clock just barely ticking past three in the morning their time – and he’s getting steadily crankier the longer this process takes. Zayn seems perfectly content, playing some game on his phone since the flight attendants had finally given the option to connect to wifi.

Yet, all that manages to do is make him feel bad for being uncomfortable. He wants to be having a good time and he desperately wants to stop imagining Nick in all of the places where Zayn has been over the last few hours, but his mind has been playing on a constant loop of Nick’s face. He knows he shouldn’t think about him, should use this as a chance to replace all those negative thoughts with new, better ones, but he can’t help it.

He wonders if he’ll ever get over it. Five years of his life wasted with a man he was nearly certain he was going to be with for the rest of his life. They were supposed to get married, adopt a little girl, get a dog, and live the rest of their lives out in the absolute best of the best.

Maybe he should get his coffee spiked.

He leans back against the seat and takes a moment to compose himself. Crying would only ruin the rest of his evening, so he blinks away the threat of tears and takes a few deep breathes. He’s entirely determined to have a good time – even if his only motivation is to get back at Nick.

He thinks he remembers someone telling him that happiness is the best revenge once, so if he has to pretend he’s having the best time of his life for no other reason than to spite Nick, he damn sure will.

As soon as all of this is over, he’s going to return to his old life refreshed. The entire goal of this isn’t to make him forget – he’s smart enough to know he’ll never forget. All he can hope for is that the pain won’t be quite as stabbing and the wounds won’t feel quite as fresh. When he gets back, he’ll get back to how life had been before; he’ll go back to work and see all of the people he knows are still his friends. Everything will work out in the end.

He’ll no longer be haunted by the stabbing feeling in his heart that came from walking into his own flat, tears already in his eyes, to see his fiancé in bed with another man – on their wedding day.

He’s almost afraid of falling asleep – the fear of being haunted by that same scene that has replayed over and over in his dreams almost nightly coming back. He doesn’t want to cry anymore and he doesn’t want to think about it anymore. If he ignores the fear, he decides, maybe it will go away.

So he takes a few deep breaths and forces himself to relax enough to fall asleep.

 

When he wakes, it’s to tapping on his shoulder. Zayn’s face is the first face he sees, and he sighs softly when he pulls his body back into sitting up and stretches. A few bones in different parts of his body crack and pop back into place as he groans. “We’ve got about four hours left on the flight. They’re comin’ round to take meal orders now.” He says softly and hands him a copy of the small menu.

They’d planned it so they’d be landing in Jamaica at 7am local time – giving the two of them enough time to crash for a few hours without missing any of the fun. The first day, he thinks, he’d like to check out any of the beaches nearest their hotel, maybe get a few drinks, and just soak up sun. He plans on posting as many pictures of the great time he’s having on his facebook and Instagram as he can – just in case Nick comes across them. It’s petty and a little childish, but it’s also for his mum and all of his worried friends. If he looks like he’s having a good time to everyone around his life, he hopes that everyone who isn’t in his inner most circle won’t believe that he is wallowing.

Zayn, Perrie, and his mum are the only ones who know the full extent of his misery, and that’s exactly how he’s intending on keeping it. He orders a chicken sandwich, and leans back against the seat until it gets there. He’s never much liked flying, but having Zayn there with him, he surprisingly doesn’t mind that much.

Maybe a week in a tropical country, all responsibilities and worries behind him will do him more good than bad. If he can get his mind out of the gutter and actually have a good time, he hopes that all of this will help him heal.

 

When they land, everything starts to go a little faster. Suddenly the world around him feels like it’s going in fast-forward and nausea wells up in his stomach. Zayn notices as he calls for a car to take them to their hotel, and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Y’alright, mate?”

“No, fuck. No.” He says and takes a deep breath. “Everyone at the hotel thinks this is a honeymoon. If we go in there and tell them it isn’t – I don’t want their pity, Zayn. I don’t want the looks and the way I can see that they’re curious about what happened and I don’t want all of this hassle. We should have just – fuck we should have just stayed home.” Tears slowly start to well up in his eyes as the overwhelming anxiety starts to creep up into every nerve ending in his body. He suddenly wishes he was still home in bed – or really just anywhere except there. He wants to have a good time, he really does, but something about the idea of having a honeymoon without having gotten married just doesn’t feel right.

“Hey, hey, Lou, it’s alright. I promise.” Zayn is still touching his shoulder, the reassuring gesture somehow grounding him more than he would like to admit. “If you want – we don’t have to tell them. It’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before, so it’s not going to be weird. We can let everyone believe that this is still a honeymoon if you’re really worried about what everyone else will think.” Another tear falls down his cheek as he realizes that Zayn is really the best friend anyone could ever possibly ask for.

“You’d really – like it wouldn’t be weird or anything?”

“Nah, mate. I have Perrie’s ring on still and you can just put one of your other rings on your finger to make it more believable, right? We’re going to do everything we can this week to make you forget Nick was ever in your life, okay?”

“I love you, Zayn. You’re the best.”

“I know.”

 

**  
**

**+HARRY**

The sun is burning high in the cloudless sky as Harry lounges on one of the seats nearest the pool. He’s sipping a margarita, his legs crossed, and headphones in his ears. It’s probably the most relaxed he’s been in months – maybe even years – and he suddenly feels the strong urge to tell Niall he loves him.

It had been Niall’s idea that the three of them – him, the Irish lad, and their shared best mate Liam – needed a lads holiday. It seemed a little juvenile in planning – like something teenagers fresh out of A-Levels would do, but being here now, he’s never been happier. He can see the faint beginnings of a tan on his usually milky skin, making him feel even more confident than before. His tiny, yellow swim shorts are finally being put into use after years of sitting in his closet, and that’s enough of a blessing all on it’s own.

Two days have passed so far, and it’s been great. He enjoys spending time with his friends more than anything else, but he found out very quickly that he needed to get a few hours away from the constant excitement that is Niall. He loves it most of the time – loves the constant thrum of energy that radiates from the other man – but with the idea of being in such close quarters with him for an entire week, he knew he needed a moment away. 

He’s alone for now, just enjoying the heat of the day while Niall and Liam have run off to the lobby to try and find some other unsuspecting tourists to join them at the bar in the hotel for the evening. After just a couple hours he’d known he would be back to his normal, party ready self. But already being in the mood of wanting a moment to himself, he couldn’t imagine going out and trying to chat up random strangers.

He’s always been surprised by how easily Niall can get even complete strangers to go along with exactly what it is that he wants, so he decided fairly easily to leave that bit of the mission up to him. Meeting new people will be easy fun, especially since they don’t have to worry about impressions. If they make a bad impression, it’s incredibly unlikely that they’ll ever see the other people again. They can be themselves, genuinely and totally themselves, without the fear of judgement.

It’s just passed noon now, but he knows he should head in soon. Niall would never forgive him if he skipped out on a meal with his two friends on their exclusive lad’s holiday. So he stands, stretches out his limbs that are tight from laying in one position for two hours, before he starts the trek back up towards their room.

He grabs his phone as he walks, texting Niall that he’s on his way back up, when he feels himself slam right into another body. He stumbles back, blinks a few times, and tries to process what just happened. 

“What the fuck mate?!” The other voice screeches out, his face twisted into a look of anger. Harry would almost be offended if the way he said _fuck_ didn’t sound like _fook._ He actually has to hold back his laugh. Except it gets a lot less funny when he realizes he’s caused the other man to drop two full plates of food all over the ground.

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry. I’m – let me pay you back? Like, hotel food is so expensive um, shit.”

“No, you know what. Just. Leave it.” The man says with a sigh. “Thanks.” He says it in the kind of way that cuts right through Harry – like he’s done something much worse than just spilling his lunch everywhere.

 

The three of them are sat at the bar, drinks already in hand, and all Harry is waiting for now is the new guys to come and join their little group for the evening.

“Louis, this is Zayn and Louis. They’re on their honeymoon.” He says, waggling his eyebrows. Harry turns to look towards the people who have joined their group for the evening and feels his heart drop. He’d almost forgotten about the shitty experience from earlier in the day, but there the asshole was, standing right in front of him. “Zayn, Louis, this is Harry and Liam.”

 “Nice to meet you.” The two of them say at the same time, but the smaller man seems to have to force the words out of his throat. There’s a deep blush taking over his features, and it almost brings a sense of content to Harry. He’s never been vindictive, but it’s almost ironic that it would be him of all people that Niall would like so much that he’d drag him out to the bar.

Zayn is quickly taken to sit beside Niall and Liam and the three of them are talking about comic books or something else that Harry is tuning out as he continues to nurse his drink, when he hears _him_ speak again.

“So.” The man that Harry now knows as Louis says, the same deep red flushing over his features. “I guess first of all I owe you an apology for being a right dick earlier, don’t I?” 

“Yeah, probably.” Harry says, quirking an eyebrow.

“I’m very sorry. There isn’t even an excuse to be honest, even if one wouldn’t make it any better.” That manages to bring a small smile to Harry’s face, hearing that the other man knows he messed up and that he’s really sorry. He easily could have just turned around and left the club when he realized Harry was here if he wasn’t sorry. Yet, he decided to stay and make his amends. It makes him want to forgive him.

“Thank you for apologizing. I forgive you.”

“So, Harry, how long have you been here?” Louis easily shifts the mood of the conversation with both the way he speaks and his body language. He turns more towards Harry and moves his arms away from his chest, totally dropping the guarded body language he’d had before, making it very clear that he isn’t afraid Harry is going to lash out anymore. It makes him happy, in a way. His voice is also much less tense, like there had never even been a hiccup between the two of them. It makes it easy, easier than Harry had initially thought it would be. He was afraid that as soon as he saw Louis the rest of his night would just be filled with awkward, forced-polite banter that would lead to an entirely unsatisfying evening out.

“Two days, actually. We’re here for another week. How about you?”

“We just got in this morning. Not sure I’m going to last long, to be honest. The plane right really took it out of me.” Harry can relate. He’s almost surprised that the other man is even here right now, considering he’d crashed the second he’d gotten back to his own hotel room when their plane landed. There’s nothing quite like a long-haul flight to knock him out properly.

“Where’d you fly in from?”

“Heathrow.”

“Hey, me too! Are you local?” He’d known Louis was from England, but judging by his accent, he hadn’t assumed he was from the London area. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that they could live just a few kilometers from each other.

“Yeah. I live about two miles from the airport.”

“How crazy is it that we met in a totally different country when we live so close to each other?”

“Wait, you live close? How weird!” They continue on like that for most of the evening, ordering new drinks and just talking about anything in the world. It isn’t until almost two hours later of them just sitting there talking that he thinks of something.

He can’t help but notice that it’s a little odd that Louis is sitting three bar stools away from his husband and hasn’t said a word to him all night, all while flaunting seductive body language to Harry for hours. Louis is incredibly attractive, and if he wasn’t married Harry would take him home in a heartbeat. But its – its messing with him that he hasn’t so much as brought his newly wed husband up in their conversation.

He tries not to think about it too much, but the thought nags on for most of the night. Even as he continues to talk to Louis and learns that he’s not only one of the nicest people he’s ever met, but also the funniest and most unique, he can’t help but think about it. Even married couples he sees in marriage therapy sessions, marriages barely held on by a thread, acknowledge each other.

“Well, I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.” Louis says with a yawn, downing the last bit of his own drink. His words are very slightly slurred together, just the surface of how much he’s had to drink for the night showing.

“Okay, Lou. It was really nice hanging out with you. Wanna do another lads night tomorrow night?”

“Hell yeah. This should make this vacation actually fun.” Louis says with another smile. “Zayn?” He finally asks, making his husband look up and smile. He hears a dismissal from the other man towards Liam and Niall, and then Louis and Zayn are off, together.

That last comment from Louis sits with him for the rest of the night, even after he’s had another drink and is now just hanging out with his mates. _This should make this vacation actually fun._ It’s such a strange thought that someone wouldn’t enjoy their honeymoon just to enjoy their honeymoon.

He tries to get out of his own head, to stop himself from analyzing other’s moves like he does for a living, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but go into that default mode that he has, to think everything through a hundred times over.

He goes to bed a few hours later, as the bars are closing and everything in the hotel is quiet with the thoughts still in his head. It’s a horrible thought, but he thinks he might be hyperfocusing on the idea of Louis being possibly unhappy with Zayn just because he wants to fuck him. It’s a disgusting thought and it’s something he’s never even thought of before, yet they’re there. Intrusive thoughts invading his head.

He hopes they aren’t there in the morning.

**  
**

**+LOUIS**

“I had better just be dreaming.” Zayn says from the bed across the room. “Because if that’s your laptop, I might think you’re trying to do work while we’re on vacation, and that just doesn’t sound like _my_ best mate.” Louis closes his laptop and shoves it into the side drawer beside his bed quickly.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about mate.” He says with a little, guilty laugh. Zayn just hums his agreement and lets his head fall back to the pillow, already fast asleep. The sun is barely coming up over the horizon, but Louis’ body hasn’t entirely adjusted to the time difference yet, and he thinks it might be better that way. It’s better to not adjust entirely on vacation than to have to re-adjust when they get back home.

He double checks to make sure Zayn is totally asleep before grabbing his room key and slipping on a pair of shoes. He’s still in his night clothes, but he could care less. There’s a public balcony at the end of their hall with an incredible view of the beach, and he wants to see a real beach sunrise, anyway.

On the way out the door, he presses the button on the complementary Keurig in their room and sets it just to pour out a cup of hot water for him to make tea, then takes it on his way out. The hall and rooms around him are almost entirely silent, everyone else still being either deep in slumber or already out on the town. He loves it – loves these early hours of the morning when there’s no noise around him and all he can focus on is his thoughts and his surroundings.

He steps out onto the balcony and takes a seat on one of the padded chairs that overlooks the water. It’s stunning – the way the water looks so clear and blue and the orange rays of sun shine and reflect off of the crystal blue so magically. If Zayn hadn’t been so adamant about not letting him work while on vacation, he’d be out taking pictures, strolling the beach and getting lost in taking images rather than enjoying being somewhere other than home. While he knows that he tends to get lost in his work, he doesn’t think others truly understand why he does it. He gets lost in taking images because it’s his absolute favorite thing to do – something about capturing a moment that will never be exactly replicated in that exact way, it’s thrilling. But he can appreciate things all the same without a camera. He knows he can.

The door behind him slides open and he jumps just a little, then gets ready to get up and leave before he turns and sees the curly haired boy he’d met at the beach the day before. He’s got sleep tousled hair and his eyes are soft.

“Oh – hey. Sorry. I didn’t think anyone else would be out here.”

“Not a problem. You can join me if you want.” There’s a balcony on every floor just like theirs, so he knows if Harry really wanted to be alone like this, he’d go to one of the other floors. So it brings a little, private smile to his face when Harry grabs the seat next to his and just looks out at the waterline.

There’s a soft breeze in the air and it wisps a few stray strands of Harry’s hair around his face. Louis wishes he could take a picture of him, now, in his beautiful morning glow. There’s something so pure about the way a person looks when they’ve first woken up in the morning – something about it that is so much different than any other time of the day.

“Thank you for letting me join you.” Harry says softly. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

“It really is.” He says, matching the other man’s quiet voice. It almost feels like they have to whisper, like something would shatter if they were to raise their voices any more. The scene before them almost looks so temporary that it would go away if disturbed. “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nah. I’m surprised I managed to sleep as long as I did, actually. I’m usually up by half four at home.”

“Half four?” Louis asks, his eyebrows raising in shock. He’s never met someone who’s willingly up that early. Especially not often enough to say it’s a usual part of their schedule.

“I actually own a bakery back home and I’ve been the opener for a bakery since I was sixteen, so it just feels like a normal part of my life now. Plus it’s nice to be home by two, like I still have my whole day ahead of me.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense. If I had any kind of energy in the mornings I could probably manage that outlook.” He says with a little giggle. “I’m more of a sleep until past eight type of person. So it’s really nice to see a sunrise for the first time in a while.” Both of them are still looking out at the water, but Louis keeps sneaking little glances over at Harry. He thinks he’s being sly, but he’s not totally sure if Harry knows or not.

They stay out there for a long while, and it’s nice. There’s silence between them at times, but it’s not awkward. They chat about their lives for long enough that Louis’ throat starts to go dry and the sunrise has long since passed. The air slowly starts to warm around them as the sun makes it’s hike higher in the sky. Harry is smiling brightly at him and talking happily as their morning slowly ticks on, and Louis feels happier than he has in longer than he’d like to admit.

“I think I’m gonna head in. Zayn will have a fit if he wakes up and I’m not there.” Louis says with a slight laugh. He’s hesitant to leave, but he knows Zayn and he’s almost certain that his best mate would be calling him frantically making sure he hadn’t jumped off the nearest bridge if he woke without him there.

Harry just gives a small, forced smile in his direction and a nod. It makes something feel weird inside of Louis’ stomach, but he decides not to say anything. He swipes his key card to get back into the building and treads down the hallway before turning into his own room.

Zayn is still fast asleep, so he lays down on his bed and picks up the phone, ordering room service. The way Harry had let him leave without so much as a single word still sits uncomfortably in his stomach, but he’s certain he’s just reading too much into it. Maybe he had actually been hinting the entire time that he didn’t want company and Louis had just overstepped his boundaries?

He grits his teeth once and throws his arm over his face, hoping that wasn’t the case. He can still remember all the times Nick had told him that he was too talkative – that he always tried to talk to people who didn’t want to talk to him. He can remember all the times that he embarrassed the both of them in public and only made situations worse than they already were.

He decides to try his hardest to leave those thoughts behind and picks up the phone to order room service. It’s probably a bad coping mechanism, to eat when he’s sad, but he can’t help it. Nick had always bashed him for it – called him horrible names and made him feel like the fattest person on the planet when he did it. But it _helps_ and it’s just what he does.

So he orders both himself and Zayn a little bit of a large breakfast and lays back down as soon as he hangs up the phone. Sometimes he can’t help but wonder why he ever loved Nick in the first place, when all he was was horrible to him. Was he really so blinded by the love that he had that he couldn’t feel himself being abused, torn up, and fucked over all at once? Was he really so blinded by it that he was going to _marry_ him? That he was going to tie himself down to the other man for years? It almost aches more to think about that than the idea of being left by him does.

All he’s ever really wanted in his life was a child. He’s always dreamed about adopting his own little baby boy or girl and bringing them home, raising them with someone who he loves more than anything. Babies are what he knows best and there’s nothing more satisfying in his life, he thinks, than being surrounded by little creatures that depend entirely on him for his life.

It makes a new kind of ache arise in his chest, then, because he wanted that with Nick. He wants a family so badly, but he’s getting old enough now that within the next few years, he can see agencies turning him away because of his age. With thirty quickly approaching – it feels like he’s strapped for time.

And now that he’s not married and has no ability to be within the next few years, he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to have a baby at all.

 

There’s an unnecessarily loud knock on the door about half an hour later, and as he goes to answer it, he sees Zayn shifting around in bed, signaling that he’s going to wake up within moments.

By the time he has the boxes of food in his hands, he sees that his friend is awake and sitting up. “Morning.” He says, then hands him one of the boxes and a fork.

“Morning.” Zayn says, voice scruffy before he opens it and starts eating. It’s quiet between them, both of them sitting in bed and eating quietly as they adjust to being awake. He’s glad he doesn’t have a headache or too bad of a hangover this morning, but he’s also assuming that it’s partly because he hadn’t gotten entirely smashed the night before. Those are the nights where he really gets it bad the next morning.

“So, what do you think about Harry?”

“I’m not sure. Only said a couple words to him last night. But he seemed to make you happy. The other two lads are the coolest blokes ever, though. Did you know that Liam only lives two blocks from me?”

“Oh, wow, that’s actually really cool! Harry said he lives close, too. Weird that we met them in an entirely different country instead of just like, on the street at home or summat.” Zayn hums in agreement and smiles. “Harry thinks we’re married though, and I want to fuck him. But if I tell him we’re not married, he’s gonna think I’m a liar. And if I sleep with him while he does think we’re married, he’s gonna think I’m a cheater. So, I have no clue what the hell I’m supposed to do.”

“Why not just fuck him and have some fun, then we’ll leave and you can focus on finding yourself a nice, better boyfriend.”

“I don’t know. I guess that’s an option.” Louis says with a groan. “But I can’t just have a one night stand with him, because you clearly enjoy Niall and Liam’s company…. So I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

“Lou, don’t worry about it. This is just a vacation. These blokes could be totally different when they’re back into their professional lives and stuff. I’ve known them for less than a day, it’s not like they’re in line to become me best mates.” That makes Louis laugh more than it should, but it really just brings a smile to his face. “How about I tell the group that we aren’t actually engaged? I’ll break the awkward ice since it wasn’t really your idea anyway. I’ll fix it, you can bang Harry, and everything will be good again.”

“You’d really do that, Z?”

“Why not? You want some arse, I want you to be happy. So, yeah.”

 

They bin the trash from their breakfast and lay back in bed for a while, deciding that the both of them deserve a short lay in, at least until noon. It just wouldn’t feel like a proper vacation if there wasn’t the chance to have a little bit of a lie in, Louis justifies. They might be in an entirely different country with a new setting and plenty of things to do, but he’d rather sleep for a while longer.

He’s not really sleeping so much as he is just mindlessly scrolling through social media on his phone when he hears Zayn’s ringtone for Perrie going off. It makes a small flare of jealousy sting in his heart, but he doesn’t say anything about it. It wouldn’t be fair of him to ask Zayn to abandon his own wife for a week just to fuel his own selfish ego.

He tries not to listen to them talk too much, especially when Zayn starts asking about her morning sickness symptoms and she talks about how long it’s going to be until they get to find out the sex of the baby. It makes him ache and he wishes it would stop – he wishes more than anything that he could just feel happy for his best mate. But instead all he feels is jealousy and longing for that to be a part of his own life.

The worst part is, he’s not even lonely. He really has everything in his life a grown man could possibly ask for, other than a family. He has a stable job, an approved mortgage on a house, and an excellent social circle. Yet, he still feels like his life is incomplete. To most, he thinks, a family would just be icing on the cake. But to him, a family would make or break that happiness in his life that he can’t help but feel he’s missing out on.

**  
**

**+HARRY**

Noon rolls around before Niall comes barging into his room. It’s pretty early, really, considering the three of them had stayed out until well past two the previous night, yet he knows his Irish friend well enough to know that doesn’t count as an excuse. “Harry, mate tell me yer not still in bed!” Niall says loudly as soon as he gets through the door.

Why he gave his friends a copy of his room key, he doesn’t know.

“Yes, Niall, I’m still in bed. Do you even sleep at all?” He groans, drawing a laugh from the other man.

“We’re goin’ to the pool. Already texted Zayn to tell him to bring Louis along. It’s gonna be fun! Get up!” Harry just blinks at his friend a couple of times before he forces himself out of bed. Then, he’s shoving the other man out of his room, all the while Niall is laughing harder than he has in a while.

He almost wants to shave his legs before he slides into his swim shorts this time, just because he wants to look nice for – he doesn’t want to say he wants to look nice for Louis, even though it’s true. He hates this – hates feeling like a homewrecker when he’s done nothing to warrant that title. Louis is the one who was giving _him_ the flirting eye and using his own body language to make himself seem inviting.

It ties knots up in Harry’s stomach all over again.

He doesn’t shave his legs and he _definitely_ doesn’t triple check that he looks good before he grabs his towel and heads out towards the pool.

 

It turns out that Niall hadn’t meant the small pool that he’d been lounging at the day before, but instead he meant the absolutely massive waterpark that was attached to the resort. It’s huge – with three slides all attached to their own pools and one full size Olympic swimming pool with different sections marked off for different ages. There’s even a swim-up bar, which Harry thinks is only a little irresponsible.

“Niall, we are adults. Why are we here?”

“Did you not read the signs, mate? It’s no-kids day. They do one adult only day a week to make sure we get to have a good time, too.” Harry almost feels bad for the kids that are missing out on how much fun he assumes this place is, but it also makes him much happier when he realizes there are barely any people here at all, since no children are around to be followed by parents.

He’s too busy looking at Niall to notice when Louis and Zayn join them. But as soon as he notices, it takes a lot of willpower to look away.

He has paler skin than Harry had originally thought – accompanied by even more tattoos. His skin looks soft and sweet and – he stops himself. “Well, lads, are we ready to have a great day?” He asks, a smile on his face.

A great day turns into a really outstanding day. He and Louis somehow merge together all over again, standing in line together and chatting amongst each other much more than the others. He also notices that Louis isn’t wearing his wedding ring while Zayn is, despite still wearing other rings on his other fingers and it makes him feel even more unsettled.

He should say something, right?

No. He shouldn’t. Saying something in a setting like this would only make the mood terribly awkward and ruin the rest of both of their days.

“There’s three seats on this next raft!” An attendant calls out to their group and the two groups behind them. “A group of three has to get on.”

“You guys ok if we go and meet you down there?” Liam asks and Zayn doesn’t once object, neither does Louis. It’s so strange, watching their dynamic. He _knows_ it isn’t his place to say anything or even judge, but they certainly aren’t acting like a married couple. Married couples wouldn’t just let themselves be separated like that. It’s so weird.

But he immediately stops thinking about it when the group of four behind them and the two of them get to get on the next raft.

It’s a bit of a scary ride, with an enclosed tube for the slide and lights flashing in strategically placed intervals to create a real feeling of fear. Louis ends up holding on to him for a majority of the ride, especially as they pick up speed and even Harry’s stomach starts doing twists. He’s laughing by the end of it, but Louis is practically in his lap.

Once they get out of the slide, a final waterfall pouring water over their heads, Louis finally starts laughing. He’s still in Harry’s lap, even after he sees Zayn standing by the side of the pool, looking right at them. Zayn doesn’t look put off at all and its really – it’s really starting to only make him _mad._

He forgets about it all over again when the entire group doesn’t get broken up again for the rest of the day, deciding to just chill in the area with the swim-up bar, but the thoughts still lurk in the back of his head.

 

By the time he gets back to his hotel room, he’s sore and tired from swimming all day, but the alcohol running through his system keeps his mind off of the ache in his body. But he knows well enough that when he’s been drinking, he’s not good at keeping his thoughts to himself. Especially around Niall.

So as Niall, Liam, and himself are all sitting on the floor of Liam’s room, a game of _Life_ spread out before him, he can’t help but start blabbering.

“Louis frustrates me.” He says, getting weird looks from both of his friends.

“Why? It looked like the two of you were having a really good time together.” Liam asks, an eyebrow quirked in confusion.

“Mate, it’s just. He’s married, right? Like, how the fuck is he so newly married that he’s on his honeymoon, but he’s been sending me all these signals?”

“Are you sure you aren’t just reading too much into it?” Niall asks, and Harry shoots him a look that would probably kill anyone else. “Okay, okay. So, maybe he has a crush on you. He can look but he can’t touch, right? Like, isn’t that the whole point of marriage?”

“This is the worst. I’m supposed to be having a good time on this vacation but now all I’m going to be able to think about is Louis.”

“Why don’t you talk to him about it?”

“Oh, yeah. Cause that totally wouldn’t make things awkward or anything.”

“Harry, you know I love and support all of your decisions that you make, but if you let this bloke turn you into a sad lump for the rest of this holiday, I will personally march up to him and tell him to fuck it out of you. Married or not. Just talk to him. He’s a random bloke that you probably won’t ever see again if things go poorly. And if things go well, then yay, you have a new awesome friend who you can be happy with.”

Harry never has much cared for Niall’s wisdom, but only because he’s almost always right. For someone who gives other people advice for a living, he sure does hate being given advice for himself.

“I’m pretty sure they aren’t even married.” Liam chimes in. “Their honeymoon sweets just have like, awesome deals I guess? Like, free food and alcohol for an entire five days, plus a couples spa and all that good stuff. So, who knows? Maybe they’re just keeping up the façade so none of the staff catch them and kick them out.”

“Didn’t they tell the two of you that they were on their honeymoon?” Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“Well, they didn’t deny it. We overheard the bar woman when we ran into them saying ‘happy honeymoon’.” Harry has to blink a few times and ends up staying quiet for a few moments. “I mean, obviously we can’t say for sure. Cause they could just be the type that aren’t into public affection or summat you know? But, that’s my hunch.”

Harry almost feels ill.

 

**  
**

**+LOUIS**

He wakes with a startle.

It’s unusual for him to feel such a mixture of emotions thrumming throughout his body so early in the morning, but he’d had a horrible dream about Nick – about what they could have been. Zayn stirs beside him, noticing his panic, and immediately sits up.

“You okay, Lou?”

“No.” He says, a couple of tears finally streaming down his face. “I miss him.”

“Lou,” Zayn starts, a sad look on his face, “You know how horrible he was to you. How much he hurt you all throughout your relationship, not even just when he left you, right? You have to know he wasn’t good.”

“I loved him.” He says, sniffling.

“I know it’s going to hurt to hear, Lou, but he never loved you.” It’s not the best way to start a morning, but he downs a few shots of the tequila bottle in the room to help dull the ache. He knows what Zayn is saying is true – with every memory of Nick he can remember all of the bad – but it hurts to accept. It hurts to know that not only did he allow himself to stay in such a shitty situation, but he wasn’t even wanted the entire time. He’s not sure if that’s what hurts the most or not, but it doesn’t stop.

He aches in a way he hasn’t since that first night, but Zayn holds him and keeps telling him it’s okay, and for the first time, he believes him. He wonders if he’ll ever get over such a massive portion of his life. As horrible as he knows Nick was to him, he was still with him for five years. That’s a sixth of his entire life, and it feels like he’ll never be able to get over it some days.

They stay like that for a long while, cuddling and watching telly before Zayn checks his phone. “Will you be okay if I head out for a while?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m just gonna have a lie in today. Don’t feel like going anywhere.”

“Okay, Lou. I’ll be back later tonight.”

He sighs as he lays down in bed, staring at the ceiling. He knows this vacation was meant to help him calm down and make him feel better about the shitty things that have been happening in his life, but he isn’t even sure what he feels. All of his emotions are jumbled and a little wild in his head, in a way he doesn’t understand. But he doesn’t feel any better.

He decides to go out to the same balcony as before, just for a moment to clear his head. Close to the balcony there’s a little bar that he stops at on his way out, getting himself a martini. The sun is high in the sky when he gets outside, but it’s a nice kind of warm instead of overwhelming.

He ends up sitting out there for about an hour before he sends a text to Harry, asking if he wants to join him. It feels a little strange when he doesn’t get any kind of response, but he doesn’t think too much of it. Harry’s on vacation just like he is – so he’s probably out having tons of fun and doing things he wants to be doing instead of just sitting here and moping alongside Louis.

Maybe being alone for a little while will do him some good.

After he cools down outside for a while, he thinks going to the pool would be a good idea. So, he heads back to the room and changes into his own swimsuit, grabbing two towels for himself on the way out. It’s different – being alone. It’s been years and years since he’s been entirely alone, both in his love life and having friends all around him.

Yet, it’s a good different.

He texts Harry again, a single offer to head down to the pool with him again, but still doesn’t get a response. It makes something in his chest hurt, but he still ignores it just the same.

The sun feels nice against his skin, warm and soothing and much better than anything else he could ever get from the finnicky London weather. Soft music plays over the loudspeakers around the pool, helping Louis all clear his head.

He feels good. Good in a way he hasn’t in longer than he wants to admit. Something about being here, feeling this relaxed and soft and calm, makes him feel good. He can’t tell if the revalation is good or not, but for now, in that moment. He feels great.

When he gets out of the pool, he makes his way back up to the room, stopping at a vending machine on the floor on his way there. He gets two packages of crisps from the machine, not letting himself think about how he just spent five pounds on something that should not have cost him that much, before turning the corner as he shoves the change back into his pockets.

He rams right into another body when he’s not looking up, but he manages to get whipped back into the wall right behind him, smacking his head and dropping both of his bags of crisps.

It’s Harry, because of course it is.

“We really need to stop meeting like this.” He says with a laugh, but Harry doesn’t laugh. “Sorry, again. For slamming into you. Again.”

“Are you okay?” Is all Harry asks, and he doesn’t say anything else after Louis says yes – just walks away and goes straight into his room without so much as a glance. It’s official, then, Louis’ done something to piss him off. He has absolutely no clue what and it makes his chest ache with some kind of guilt that he can’t pinpoint. It absolutely _sucks._

He was enjoying Harry’s company – and even if they’re only here for two more days, it doesn’t seem like the rest of this trip will be the same without Harry.

He sighs and picks up his bags off the floor, anyway, and goes back to his own room.

“Hey mum.” He says with a little smile, the skype icon changing to his mum’s face. She looks exactly the same as she had the last time he’d seen her, and that makes him feel oddly better. Some kind of familiarity in his whirlwind of a mind feels good.

“Hi, sweetie. What’s going on? How’s your holiday?”

“It’s been pretty good so far.” He lies, not sure how to explain why it’s not. “Zayn’s just gone out without me, so I think I’m just going to have a night in.”

“And you decided to call your mum,” She coos, making Louis roll his eyes.

“Maybe I just wanted to talk to the girls?” They laugh together for a while, but it feels normal, natural, and that’s exactly what he needs. Holiday has been good – a nice change of scenery – but it will be even nicer to get back to home, to get back to everything that he’s used to. He knows that much.

 

When he gets back to the room about three hours later, Zayn stumbles into the loo, weed-red eyes and he smells more like alcohol than Louis has ever seen him. Louis can only imagine that he’s been throwing up on his way back to the room, too. “Zayn, mate, what did you do? Are you okay?”

“I’m the worst human on the entire planet.” Zayn sniffs, his face falling against the seat of the toilet with a loud _thunk._

“Mate, no you’re not. Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“Can’t.” Is all Zayn says before he’s throwing up again, and as soon as he’s finished he passes out on the floor.

Okay.

Well.

Louis has absolutely no clue what to do for his friend, other than to drag him over to the bed and tuck him in for the night, so that’s what he does. He makes sure he’s still sitting up and puts the bin in his lap, just in case he wakes up and has to hurl again.

He doesn’t think either of them have been _that_ smashed since uni, and it took a lot less for them to get that bad back then. He worries his lip between his teeth. He’ll be fine when he wakes up in the morning and then Louis will pester him until he tells him what’s wrong.

That’s how their friendship works. That’s how it’s always worked.

 

Except this time Louis almost wishes it _wasn’t._ When Zayn wakes up teary eyed and tells Louis that he cheated – that he _cheated –_ he has absolutely no clue what to say or do. “I honestly have no clue what I was even doing.” Zayn sniffles. “Like, it wasn’t even – it wasn’t even supposed to happen right? I love Pez and we have a –“ _hic “_ kid coming and now she’s going to leave me and I’m never going to meet my son and my entire life is ruined.” He’s full out crying in a way that Louis has never seen Zayn cry before. “I didn’t even think I was really _into_ guys. Then this guy just – comes in and next thing I know he has me against a bathroom stall and –“ He’s still heavy crying and Louis is well. He’s not sure what to do.

“So… he sucked you off, then?” Zayn nods.

“That’s it?”

“What do you _mean_ that’s it?!”

“You didn’t…”

“No, I mean, no, of course not. I didn’t even, like, I guess I knew it was coming but like, I also didn’t? At the same time?”

“Zayn, love, I don’t think that’s really cheating. I mean, only Pez can really make that call for herself, cause you got to tell her, but you were sloshed, right? And this guy kind of took advantage of that. So, I don’t really think you did anything wrong.” Zayn wipes a couple of tears away and then nods, before he goes out of the room and calls Perrie.

**  
**

**+HARRY**

Harry knows he’s been a horrible person to Louis for a while and it doesn’t sit well in his stomach, but the words _self care_ and _pointless crush_ keep swirling about in his head, and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. Something about how Louis flirted and teased and made him feel so _comfortable_ made something about this entire vacation feel worse than it could have been. He’s married! Married and flirting with another man right in front of his fiancé! So, Harry’s a little mad, but he’s also… unsure.

After hearing what Zayn had said the other night, he almost feels sick to his stomach. He and Louis are sat away from each other, and Zayn is unusually quiet, but the rest of them are chatty and happy, just like they have been since they got together.

Their little makeshift group is back together for breakfast the next morning, Niall the most talkative out of all of them, but everything feels – almost - okay.

Other than maybe the way Harry is holding himself. He’s not really looking at either Louis or Zayn, and everything feels a little…. Strange. He knows he’s causing the tension and he could easily force himself to be his normal, friendly self, but he doesn’t particularly want to.

He knows he shouldn’t judge someone else’s relationship, because it’s their life and their decisions. But instead, he picks at his eggs and doesn’t say a word.

The thing is, though, that he feels like he _should_ tell Louis. He would want someone to tell him if they knew he was being cheated on. He would want someone to tell him if he didn’t know about his imaginary-husband’s second family. Zayn had said it himself – he’s got a child on the way with a woman – and Louis deserves to know that.

So, he sighs and pulls out his phone, quickly sending Louis a text.

_I’m going 2 the loo. Follow me in a couple mins please?_

He excuses himself from the group and walks over towards where the toilets are, forcing himself not to look over his shoulder and see if Louis had even checked the text. This is his chance. This is him trying to do a good thing, and if it just so happens that Louis doesn’t check his phone, then at least he tried.

But Louis, of course, finds him exactly two minutes later.

He has this confused look on his face, mixed with maybe a little hurt, and Harry knows he deserves that. He’s been a massive twat to him and he wants to make it right but instead he gets word vomit, only getting worse as the words tumble out of his mouth.

“Lou, I um, shit. This is such a dick thing, right? Like, you don’t even know me and this is stupid and I’ve been a dick the last couple days, even. But um, last night? When you weren’t at the table? Zayn was talking about how he’s with a girl who’s expecting a baby.” Louis doesn’t say anything, just blinks three times before Harry continues. “He’s cheating on you, Lou.” And that’s what finally makes Louis’ mouth drop open.

“So, I take it Zayn forgot to tell you lot that we aren’t actually a thing.” Then, suddenly, it’s Harry’s turn to stare at him blankly, clearly unsure of what to say.

“Um, what?” Louis sighs softly, but there’s a trace of a smile on his face.

“You want to hear the story? It’s a bit long but, I don’t um, I don’t really want to tell _everyone._ But I suppose I owe it to you, since uh, well, I suppose the lie has been a bit of a cockblock.”

“Want to get a table?” Louis nods and follows Harry down to the floor, where Harry tells a waitress that they want a table of their own. When they’re seated, Louis sighs again, softly, and then starts telling the story.

“I was _supposed_ to get married earlier this year. About a month ago now. I got left behind um,” He clears his throat, then pauses, “And this was meant to be his and I’s honeymoon. But I moped for so long that Zayn was half ready to toss me out, I think. So he dragged me here, practically kicking and screaming.”

“Oh, Lou, I’m so –“

“No, no. Don’t be. I’ve realized he’s been a massive douche to me the entire time we were together.”

“So why the elaborate story then?”

“I didn’t want the sympathy. I didn’t want the um, the sad looks and all of that. People giving the sad mates who were on a honeymoon without actually being married. I didn’t want it.”

“That makes sense. It sucks that you had to go through that though.”

“I’m sorry I made you like, think about it for so long. I didn’t mean to. And now my flight leaves in the morning so…”

“Well you know, to be honest, if you want to … come back to my room? I’d be down.”

That’s what draws a long laugh out of Harry – because he doesn’t know what else to feel. It seems to – anticlimactic. He’d built Louis up in his head as this untouchable person who he was doomed to just admire from afar for the entire duration of his vacation. So maybe it’s a little funny, but Louis has this strange look on his face.

“Yes, Louis, I would love to come back to your room.”

“Why are you laughing then?”

“Because if you wouldn’t have gone and told me you were married, that’s the first question I would have asked you!” That makes Louis laugh, too, just as much, until they’re laughing more at the laughter than the thing itself, and everything feels easy again.

 

As soon as they’re through the threshold of Harry’s room, Harry is pressing Louis against the back of the door and pressing their lips together. It’s hot and fast and too much and not enough, but that’s how he _needs_ it.

The room feels almost too cool against his arousal-hot skin, and Louis kisses like Harry’s dreamed about his entire life. He melts into it, letting Harry take over in the absolute best way.

Harry has a knee between Louis’ legs, putting just enough pressure on his starting-to-ache cock that he moans into the kiss. Harry had a feeling that once he started touching Louis he wouldn’t be able to stop, and now that he’s started, all of those suspicions are confirmed.

“Bed, bed, Harry,” Louis breaks the kiss to say, and then he’s being tugged in that direction. He sheds his shirt on the way, tossing it somewhere in the hotel room. Louis falls back against the soft material of the bed, and then Harry is on top of him, kissing him again and it’s _incredible._ There are sparks flashing behind his eyelids and his cock is straining hard against the material of his trousers and he _can’t._

Louis is intoxicating, panting out little moans that Harry can’t even connect properly in his brain, and he’s quite sure that his mind has short-circuited at this point.

Harry tugs the material of Louis’ trousers away, finally, followed by his shirt and then he’s kissing down Louis’ body, leaving little trails of nips and bites.

He’s wanted to get his mouth on Louis’ arse since he first laid eyes on him, and seeing him open and willing like this makes his heart do a little flip in his chest. He tosses Louis’ pants away, too, leaving him starkers, and takes a moment just to _look._

His body is stunning in a way that he had realized before – but not like _this._ He’s all muscle and tone yet still so _soft._ “Turn over for me, love?” He asks, watching the realization flood in the expression in Louis’ face before he’s nodding, enthusiastically, and forcing himself to turn over.

Harry’s quick and fast spreading Louis’ cheeks before he dives in, licking a stripe all the way from Louis’ balls to his hole. Louis moans loudly, unabashedly, and it only spurs Harry on. He licks quicker, pressing his tongue _inside_ a few times.

He uses a free hand to get the button undone on his own trousers, just to get a hand around his own cock, getting enough pressure to hold himself off.

Harry stops for just a moment, suddenly all too aware that lube is definitely something he should have thought of before they got to this point. “I’m gonna go get some lube, babe. I’ll be right back.” Louis huffs beneath him, but then he turns his head and gives Harry a little kiss and it’s all just fine all over again.

He finds the little bottle in the front sleeve of his suitcase, and when he turns back to see Louis, he’s got a hand on his cock and his face is contorted into a look of pure pleasure.

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself.” Harry says, making Louis’ eyes widen and his hand move away. He gets back to his knees quickly, and Harry shucks his trousers and pants off before he gets back to his position right behind Louis.

It’s quiet in the room besides the sounds of both of their hard breathes, and he can tell Louis is waiting, waiting for Harry to do something. So he doesn’t waste another second before he’s back to eating Louis out, giving no warning and getting a high pitched keen in response. He presses a lubed up finger inside of him, right beside his tongue, and presses it into different angles, trying to find that spot inside of Louis to make him come undone.

“H,” Louis gasps out, taking in a sharp breath, “Haz, Harry, you’re gonna make me come.” Harry doesn’t stop, though, swirls his tongue around the Louis’ rim again, making the smaller boy squirm beneath him. He’s letting out these high pitched keening noises in the back of his throat that make Harry’s dick twitch and it’s _incredible._  

He presses another finger in, avoiding his prostate this time.

“Fuck, Harry, fuck me, fuck me, please.”

“One more finger, love.” Is all he gives in response, and Louis groans. He’s quick in adding the third finger, but still efficient. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Louis – so he makes sure he scissors his fingers and gets him nice and open.

“Good?” Harry asks, pulling his fingers out.

“So good, Haz. Want you to fuck me.” That’s all Harry needs before he’s sliding on a condom that he’d gotten with the lube and spreading some extra lube over his dick. He presses inside of Louis slow, and once he’s bottomed out, both of their breathes are gone – lost. “Fuck,” Louis cries out as soon as Harry starts moving, thrusts hard and fast and _dirty._

There’s really no way to explain it other than white, hot heat, Harry thinks. Louis is tight around him and the noises he makes are only spurring him on as he goes.

“I’m gonna come, haz.” Is all the warning he gets from Louis before he’s spilling all over the bedsheets beneath him. Harry follows after quickly, the way Louis clenches around him sending him over the edge.

He ties the condom off, breathless and spent, then tosses it in the bin before he falls to the bed. Louis crawls into his arms and has Harry spoon him. It’s quiet, still, but mostly because Harry isn’t sure what he’s meant to say.

“When do you leave?” Is what he settles on. He wants to know if Louis wants this to be more than a casual fling or if he wants it all to come to a halt now. He wishes he would have asked before – because now he feels like he’s invested and wants to spend more and more time with this side of Louis.

“Tomorrow morning.” Louis says with a small frown.

“I hope you don’t think you’re going to get rid of me, Tomlinson. I’ve just had the best sex of my life, and I’m preeeetty sure I remember you saying we live quite close.” He says, a grin spreading across his face.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They kiss and cuddle and share sloppy handjobs in place of a _see you later_ the next morning and Harry knows everything is going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading – and if you _really_ enjoyed this story and want to support your local fanfic author, you can  
> [](https://ko-fi.com/A237HRB)


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